It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
