im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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