I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
