whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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