just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
