Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
