I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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