At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
