i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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