i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
