I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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