Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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