nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
