it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it because I queefed?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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