I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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