I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
