everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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