so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
