you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
