I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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