after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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