Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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