Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His hands were made for my vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
