do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
