at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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