So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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