Having a random hookup so left but love u
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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