i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I lost the right to judge tonight
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
