One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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