Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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