pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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