Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
