I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
