it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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