So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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