8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
