I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
