I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize