Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
