he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
