honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
