Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
