I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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