Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
