She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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