I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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