Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
