After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
