I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm at about main and main street
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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