we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
