I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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