We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
