I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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