I think im going to throw up on grandma
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
