dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
