Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize