Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
