you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
