I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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