its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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