shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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