my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize